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You know what they say- opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.  I believe unless asked, you should NEVER give your opinion on something and even then, you should probably not say what you are truly thinking unless you really know the person and know they won’t be offended.

My Mother in Law on the other hand, well… she thinks that her opinion is the ONLY opinion that matters.  And everyone within a five mile radius should hear it.  And not just hear it, abide by it.  Most of the time I can just ignore it, or brush it off to her just being her.  Or blog about like HERE and HERE!  But tonight she took it too far.

We were waiting on Devin’s preschool Christmas program to begin and making small talk with her and my Father in Law.  I mentioned that Makenzie will be starting in the two year old class beginning in January.  My Mother in Law then tells me that Makenzie is too young to go to preschool and that she had no business going.  Then she leans into Makenzie’s ear and says “if you were mine, you’d be at home with me.  Your Mother should keep you at home- you are a baby!”  It was all I could do not to punch her in the face tell her to shut the hell up.  I just politely looked at her and said that Dave and I had made the decision and are happy about it.  She didn’t take that and get the point that she should stop talking, she went on and on about how we should be scolded for sending a “baby” to preschool- especially when I didn’t work.  Thank God the program started or I might would have body slammed her to the floor and beaten her repeatedly asked her to leave .

So after the program there was a cookie social.  Lucky me, she just HAD to stay for that as well.  Nothing like pissing on your good time twice in one night.  David was trying to make small talk with them so she would shut up about the whole Makenzie going to preschool thing- he mentioned that we were in the process of having our house painted.  Then he mentioned the color: a burnt orange.  I’m not kidding you… the scowl the woman got on her face made her look like f*ing Freddy Kreuger.  She then starts in with all her opinions on my choice of paint color.  It began with an “ewww- that must clash with all your other colors” and then led to a “I’d make them repaint it”.  And many other disses in between, basically meaning I must have no taste and how dare I pick a non neutral color that she approves of.  That was it for me.  I honestly could take NO more opinions from her.  I scowled back at her and said- “all of my wall colors are in the fall color family and so is the new color- it’s fine”.  Then I walked off before I beheaded her with the lens cap of my camera.  Hey… it could happen.  Trust me- it did in my mind.

She makes me so mad.  She seriously rattles me to the core.  I don’t know why I let her get to me like that, but I simply can’t help it.  She is so loud with her opinions and so blatant about how she is obviously RIGHT all the time- I dread being around her.  What makes her think everyone wants to hear her opinions ALL the time?  And who the hell does she think she is telling me how to raise my kids and even what color to paint my walls?

She needs to get a life and get out of mine.  Or at least the details of mine.  I welcome her to be in my life as my kids Nana- but that is where it stops.  I don’t care what her opinions are on anything.  She can keep them to herself.  Oh wait.  She can’t.

And she’s coming to Makenzie’s party on Saturday.  God help me.  I can’t wait to hear what she thinks of the paint color when she sees it in person.  Oh and when Makenzie opens the ladybug backpack we bought for her to take to school next month.  I’m sure tonight will repeat itself all over again on my baby’s 2nd birthday.

Do me a favor.  If you happen to be at Makenzie’s birthday party this Saturday- please tell my evil, opinionated, bitch of a Mother in Law to STFU!  Oh yeah… and a stick your opinion where the sun don’t shine wouldn’t hurt either…

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Imported Photos 00259

Above is a picture of what Devin’s arm looked like when I picked him up from preschool today.  Another kid in his class bit him on the arm.  Devin didn’t even cry- he just went and told the teacher.  Now I know things like this happen with kids… but when it’s your kid, it hurts! :(

And what did I tell Devin to do if this kid comes at him to bite him again you ask?  Why, like the good Mommy I am, I simply told him to knock the crap out of the kid and then go tell the teacher.

*AHEM*

Let’s just hope it doesn’t happen again, shall we?

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Imported Photos 00427

Megan does. Yes, my 17 year old daughter has a tattoo.

In Georgia, it’s illegal to get a tattoo under the age of 18 unless you have written consent from a parent.

Did either of her parents sign for her to get it? Nope.

So how did she get it you ask? Illegally, of course.

Apparently a “friend” who knew a tattoo “artist” who does tattoos out of his house. Last Thursday, while I thought she was hanging out with her friend, they drove to the adjoining town where the “artist” lives and paid him $40 (money from her Grandmother for her upcoming birthday no less!!) to give her a somewhat LARGE tattoo of a sparrow on her left shoulder. Now since we don’t know if this “artist” actually cleaned his stuff and used sterile needles or wore gloves, there is no telling what else he gave her for that $40.

As you can imagine I’m pissed. Actually, I’m a little more than pissed. There is no word for what I am right now. I actually have yet to cry, scream or even swear. I think I’m in shock that my gifted since kindergarten but utterly stupid daughter has gone behind my back 2 weeks before she turns 18 and could legally get a tattoo at a reputable place and done it in such a sneaky, underhanded, un-clean way.

Now if you are wondering how I found out she got a tattoo…

Dakota had heard it at school from one of Megan’s used to be friends. I guess Megan had been showing it off and bragging about it thinking it would never get back to me. Well, it did. Thank you, Dakota. I don’t give you enough credit from time to time since you are usually my not so loving pain in the ass son.

Since Megan is underage and the friend that took her was over 18 and the f***ing loser artist that did it never checked her ID or made her fill out paperwork, I called the police to file a complaint against the two of them. And lucky us… when Megan’s “friend” who took her to get it finally gave the “artists” last name, turns out he was already in the system. Yes… the f***ing loser “artist” has a police record.

Hmmm, imagine that. Would you want someone with a police record to inject dye into your body with a needle that may or may not be sterile?

Ummm, yeah. Me neither.

But Megan did. She paid him $40 to do it. And bragged about it at school after. Sound like a gifted class student to you?

Ummm, yeah. Me neither.

And unfortunately for us, the drama doesn’t end there.

Megan’s “friend” that took her to get the tattoo is pissed she’s in trouble. She was messaging threats to Dakota on his phone and even to me on facebook.

Such nice people Megan has chosen to spend her time with.

You know… I used to judge parents who had unruly teenagers and blame them for their child’s behavior.

I’m sorry. I was wrong.

I used to think those parents must be trashy and therefore that was the reason their kids were bad.

I’m sorry. I was wrong. I had no idea that raising teenagers is so hard. I had no idea that no matter what you do or say or how you have raised your child to believe or think that in the end they will have free will and do what they want.

So my dearest Megan, I feel the need to apologize to you for some things…

I’m sorry that Dave and I have provided you a nice home to live in since you obviously don’t appreciate it.

I’m sorry that I’ve always been that lenient parent who trusts her daughter to do the right thing and make good decisions and basically let you do what you want to do.

I’m sorry that you have never really wanted for anything since we’ve given you all of your needs and most of your wants.

I’m sorry that I’m riding your butt about going to nursing school. You are the one who spent the last two years getting a double seal on your diploma taking those healthcare classes. Up until you met your “friend” that was your goal. Now your goal apparently is to see how many tatt’s your body can hold and how big you can stretch your ears.

Megan’s “friend” told me that because of my actions yesterday (grounding her and calling the police to file a report) I have now lost her. She informed me that Megan will move out when she turns 18 on the 22nd (just like her friend did when she turned 18- who is now living with her boyfriend and not going to college).

I guess that is just the chance I’ll have to take to do what I know is right. Personally, I would like to think I know Megan a little better than her “friend”. Megan knows she will lose her car for good(since it’s in her Dad’s name) and her phone for good(since her Dad pays for it) if she does. She also knows we will not pay for her to go to college unless she lives under our roof. And Megan doesn’t have a job so she therefore has no money. So “friend”, I thinking she’s going nowhere unless you plan on supporting her, but I guess time will tell…

Geez, Thanksgiving should be fun at our home this year. Anyone wanna come over? All the talk at the table will surely be about the bird- not the one we will be eating, the one on Megan’s shoulder!

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So if you’ve read my blog long, you know that my second oldest child Dakota (aka pain in the ass challenging child) is sometimes difficult to deal with. He has anger issues and adhd and refuses to take his meds. Unfortunately this sometimes leads to him having outbursts of rage in our home.

Yesterday he had an outburst.  Here’s what happened:

I have not been sleeping well and was trying to lay down for a short nap on the couch while David was giving the little kids a bath. Megan was at work and Madison was sitting on the love seat just across from me. Dakota was upstairs in the loft on the computer with his headphones in singing (screaming) as loud as he could. I yelled up at him to be quiet a few times and he (of course) couldn’t hear me. So I asked Madison if she could go and ask David to tell Dakota to quiet down. I intentionally did not want her to approach him as we all know how he can be. Unfortunately Madison decided not to bother David and came up behind Dakota to tell him to be quiet. He jumped up and punched her in the back of the head knocking her to the ground. I heard the commotion and ran up to see what had happened.  I made sure Madison was okay and then I told Dakota I was going to call the police.

It didn’t take too long before not one, not two, but three policemen were in my house. They handcuffed Dakota and put him in the back of the squad car. They spoke with us and Madison to find out what had happened. I cannot explain how hard it was to be me yesterday. On one hand, I’m furious that my son lost control and hit my 13 year old daughter. On the other hand, here I am watching him be handcuffed, searched and then placed in the back of a police car while my heart breaks in pieces.

The police officers were very nice and told me that until Dakota is 17, I decided if he was taken to  juvenile detention. After the age of 17, if he does what he did yesterday it will not be my call. The officers would make the call. It was a hard decision. I want him to learn that he simply cannot act this way, but I don’t want him to have to go to court and have a record. I finally decided that I just wanted them to basically scare the crap out of him and tell him if he ever did it again that I would have him charged.

So that’s what they did. The police officers pretty much yelled at him and told him the way it was going to be. They told him that until he is 18 years old, he is to do what I say.  They also informed him that in the state of GA corporal punishment is not unlawful and that if I so feel the need, I can whip his ass *per their words* any old time I feel he needs it.  And if I need help doing it, all I have to do is call them.  Did it work? I don’t know. I guess time will tell.  Please join me in praying that it did.  I cringe at the thoughts of what the future holds for that boy if it didn’t.

I’m so mortified at what our friends and neighbors must think.  We are not white trash.  We are not bad parents.  We are a normal, happy family that has a teen who unfortunately has rage issues that we deal with as best we can.   Some days our best is just not good enough.

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If you are new to my blog- before you read part deux, you will want to go read THIS one.  So she who must not be named as to save my marriage has struck again.  I had the ever so unlucky occurrence of having my ears raped again this past Saturday.

She asked me the loaded question, “You aren’t still nursing Makenzie are you?”  Now if you were asked that, wouldn’t it immediately put you on the defensive?  I, being the argumentative bitch ever so lovely person that I am, said “of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?”  at which time all HELL broke loose.  I had to sit through nearly thirty minutes of hearing her tell me things like “you better stop that NOW!”, “she’s too old for that”, “can’t you take a pill to dry that up?”, “why don’t you bind yourself”, “she has teeth!”

So now again, I am forced to say it one more time… so listen closely before my own head blows up or I smack you silly- whichever comes first…

I will nurse Makenzie until my boobs fall off or she and I decide we’re done.  Period.  End of story.  You can shove your useless opinions about my extended breastfeeding in my ears all you want- it will not change the fact that I will continue to do it.

Those pills you want me to take to dry up my milk were banned several years ago because many women died from taking them! I guess you never got that memo. And why in the world would I bind myself when both Makenzie and I still enjoy nursing?

Makenzie only nurses once maybe twice a day. I never breastfeed her in public. It’s not like I walk around all day with her hanging off the tit. She gets all of her nutrition from real food- she only nurses at this point for comfort. And there is nothing wrong with that- she is still a toddler and likes to be cuddled.

If it makes you so uncomfortable just thinking about it, then don’t ask.  You are going to wish you hadn’t asked one day when I have had enough and whip my somewhat large, milky titty out and nurse her in front of you just because I can.  Maybe that will finally render you speechless.  I doubt it though.

Yes, I’m still aware that Makenzie has a mouth full of teeth- I help her brush them twice daily for goodness sake. Teeth have nothing to do with your ability to suck. I guess it’s been a LONG time since you sucked on anything or you’d know an experienced sucker NEVER uses her teeth ate a Popsicle.

I would think you would be happy that I am doing what is best for my daughter.  Studies have shown that extended breastfeeding makes children smarter and more likely to go to college, not to mention it gives them immunity from several diseases out there.  I’m pretty sure no studies have shown that breastfeeding turns little girls into lesbians.  If I come across such article, I’ll be sure to let you know.

You must lead a pretty boring life if all you have to obsess over is my boobs.  Maybe you are the lesbian… food for thought.

Oh and just because Madison chooses to read books like Twilight and Harry Potter, it doesn’t mean she’s practicing Satanic rituals, but if you’d like to leave some fingernail clippings and a lock of your hair on your way out, we will see what we can do ;)

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