We spent most of the weekend with Dakota. This was the first time I had seen him since I had to send him to live with his Dad two weeks ago. I was nervous about it and had wondered if things would go well.
And now I’m so happy and relieved to say…
It went GREAT!
Dakota has made huge strides while at his Dad’s house. Tonight was the first time in a LONG time that I’ve actually been able to have a conversation with him without him getting mad at me or cursing at me. David, the little kids and I took him out to dinner on Friday night- which was very pleasant. He talked to us the whole time about how he had made some very bad decisions and he understands now that we were only trying to push him in the right direction. He was calm, well mannered, and seemed to enjoy our company. He was quite proud to show me his new license- HE PASSED!
Last weekend, he went on a trip with the youth group he had been attending here in town. He texted me to let me know that he gave his life to Christ while there :) The change in him is just unbelievable! He feels like he was allowed to experience all the bad things in his life so that he can use it to help other teens at this point. He wants to be a Youth minister now!
It was really nice because Dakota actually spent time playing with Devin and Makenzie this weekend. They have missed him and Megan so much since they left.
I’m so proud of him and the way he’s turning his life around. He starts GED classes the third week in February and is currently looking for a job. Dakota was so far behind in high school that he was simply drowning. He felt like he could never catch up and therefore it made him not care. Now, he feels like he can get his GED and move on with his future. Since he’s taking his GED courses at a college, he found out that he can start taking college courses too. I think that gave him the self confidence boost he needed!
Two weeks ago, Dakota would never leave home without his IPOD… now look what he can’t leave home without!
Yep… it’s a Bible :)
So thank you to everyone who has been praying and sending positive thoughts for my family… It’s working!!!
Happy 17th Birthday Dakota!
You have come a long way since you were born 17 years ago. Our relationship has been a rocky one as we butt heads quite often, but in the end you know I love you and I know you love me :)
I’m quite proud of the way you are working hard at school (finally!) and also very proud of the way you are working on controlling your anger. You have so much in life to look forward to if you stay on this path~
I can’t wait to see where you go from here- Happy Birthday to my first son!
So if you’ve read my blog long, you know that my second oldest child Dakota (aka pain in the ass challenging child) is sometimes difficult to deal with. He has anger issues and adhd and refuses to take his meds. Unfortunately this sometimes leads to him having outbursts of rage in our home.
Yesterday he had an outburst. Here’s what happened:
I have not been sleeping well and was trying to lay down for a short nap on the couch while David was giving the little kids a bath. Megan was at work and Madison was sitting on the love seat just across from me. Dakota was upstairs in the loft on the computer with his headphones in singing (screaming) as loud as he could. I yelled up at him to be quiet a few times and he (of course) couldn’t hear me. So I asked Madison if she could go and ask David to tell Dakota to quiet down. I intentionally did not want her to approach him as we all know how he can be. Unfortunately Madison decided not to bother David and came up behind Dakota to tell him to be quiet. He jumped up and punched her in the back of the head knocking her to the ground. I heard the commotion and ran up to see what had happened. I made sure Madison was okay and then I told Dakota I was going to call the police.
It didn’t take too long before not one, not two, but three policemen were in my house. They handcuffed Dakota and put him in the back of the squad car. They spoke with us and Madison to find out what had happened. I cannot explain how hard it was to be me yesterday. On one hand, I’m furious that my son lost control and hit my 13 year old daughter. On the other hand, here I am watching him be handcuffed, searched and then placed in the back of a police car while my heart breaks in pieces.
The police officers were very nice and told me that until Dakota is 17, I decided if he was taken to juvenile detention. After the age of 17, if he does what he did yesterday it will not be my call. The officers would make the call. It was a hard decision. I want him to learn that he simply cannot act this way, but I don’t want him to have to go to court and have a record. I finally decided that I just wanted them to basically scare the crap out of him and tell him if he ever did it again that I would have him charged.
So that’s what they did. The police officers pretty much yelled at him and told him the way it was going to be. They told him that until he is 18 years old, he is to do what I say. They also informed him that in the state of GA corporal punishment is not unlawful and that if I so feel the need, I can whip his ass *per their words* any old time I feel he needs it. And if I need help doing it, all I have to do is call them. Did it work? I don’t know. I guess time will tell. Please join me in praying that it did. I cringe at the thoughts of what the future holds for that boy if it didn’t.
I’m so mortified at what our friends and neighbors must think. We are not white trash. We are not bad parents. We are a normal, happy family that has a teen who unfortunately has rage issues that we deal with as best we can. Some days our best is just not good enough.
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