I’ve spent the last 18 years being a Mom. I’ve poured myself wholly and fully into that job. Since I became a Mom at the age of 18, I gave up going to college and having a career to do so. And I’ve loved it. I wouldn’t change a thing about being at home with my kids.
Now that Makenzie is going to preschool though, I find myself bored at home, and thinking about the future. I know at some point I will want to go back to work (even though I love staying at home for the time being!), but I’m not qualified to do anything other than a dead end job.
So, I’m pondering what to do. I’ve always dreamed of being a labor and delivery nurse. I have always found birth interesting and pride myself in knowing way more than the usual person should know about anything and everything OB related. I’m debating going back to school (well, going to school- there is no back since I never went to begin with) and following my dreams.
It’s an exciting thought, but also a terrifying one. I always sucked at math and am pretty sure I’d have to take remedial EVERYTHING since it’s been so many years since I took classes. I’m not even sure I could study and do all the things it takes to go to college AND be a Mom to my kids. I’m sure it wouldn’t be easy by any means.
If I do it, by the time Madison graduates high school, I could be graduating from college. Now there is a crazy thought. And not to mention that Megan will also be starting college this fall, so I suppose we could graduate together in four years?!
Even crazier, huh?
This is something I’ve always desired to do, and I KNOW I’d be good at it…
So why the hell am I so afraid to just leap and do it?! Now is the time for ME. It’s my turn to do something to further myself. I just have to get up the gumption to do it~
And I don’t know if I have it in me.
I keep thinking of all the what if’s…
What if I fail?
What if I can’t study?
What if I don’t get accepted in a nursing program?
What if I can’t come up with the tuition money?
What if I don’t get a grant?
What if, what if, what if!
All I know is, if I don’t try, then I’ll never know IF I could have. And I don’t want to be on my death bed with a life full of regrets and “what if I had’s”…
So first thing Monday morning (okay Tuesday morning since that’s when Makenzie goes to preschool), I’m going to call a college advisor at the local college and schedule an appointment to meet and see where to go from here.
YIKES!
© 2010, Michelle. All rights reserved.
YAY!! Good for you! I am very close to being in the same place. Both my older kids will be in preschool next year. I’m considering starting some basic classes online and then figuring out what I want to do!
It is YOUR time and you deserve it!
It is SO hard to take that first leap, but I promise, once you jump you’ll never look back in regret.
I am a full time student and mom! I will graduate with my Bachelor’s in May! I won’t lie, it is HARD to manage a family and school, but it is WORTH it! Follow your dreams- it will be a satisfying journey.
Congratulations! Making the decision is the first step. I wish you all the best in going back to school! I have similar fears and I didn’t go to a “real” college (business school) so I don’t have a degree to start from either.
I’m so excited for you!
I’m so excited for you too. What a fun adventure it would be. And then you wouldn’t have that particular “what if” laying there anymore. :)
Congrats Michelle!! Just think, you can really have a family homework table!! Dave better brush up on his cooking skills so you can study!
Wonderful! I tell you, an education is something you’ll always have that no one can ever take away. Having that piece of paper means a lot.
I KNOW you can do it! I’m doing fulltime work away from home, full time grad school (which is 6 credits/2 classes a semester) and have Nicky, Tom (cause you know DHs take time!) and pg with twins. (Probably not as hard has having so many kids outside the womb, and I do plan to take off the summer at least!) It is stressful, but it will be so worth it when I’m DONE! (can’t wait!)
Even if you have to cut it to part time (undergrad is usually 4 classes for full time, so just 2 classes) that would move you quickly towards your goal and should be easy to start with. Maybe once you’re in the groove of studying and balancing everything you could do full time. Either way you’ll be marching towards your goal!