To My Daughter on Her 18th Birthday…

Dear Megan,

Tonight at 6:03 pm you will have become 18 years old.  In the eyes of the world that makes you legally an adult, but in my eyes you will always be my baby, my first love, my heart, my little girl, my beautiful daughter and a part of me that nobody can ever take away.  From the moment you were given life until the end of time you will always be my child.

I was your age when you were born.  Just a mere 18 years old.  Before that, for nine months you had been a dream, a wish, a prayer, real yet still unreal, a whisper of the future, a physical part of my body, flesh of my flesh that can never be undone.  You are the reason I decided to grow up. You are the reason a girl became a woman. Not because I gave physical birth to you. Giving birth does not make you a woman or a Mom.  Making the choice to be a Mother makes you a Mom.  Deciding to love another more than you love yourself makes you a Mom.  As a young woman I understood the responsibility of having a child. I wanted to be the very best mother that had ever been or ever will be. I wanted to be the woman that taught you everything. I have always prayed that I was Godly example for you. I held you in my arms, tears streaming down my cheeks, within moments of your birth.  The entire world was shown to me in your chubby little newborn face.  I fell in love with you then and I am still in love with you now.  You were the talk of the nursery since you had so much hair.  All the nurses loved putting bows in your long, dark hair :)

As you enter this new phase of your life, please remember that God answers prayers. You are a living example of answered prayers. There have been many times when I’ve prayed for you.  Whether it’s been because you were sick and I was praying for God to make you well, going on a field trip with your class and I was asking God to keep you safe, or watching you drive off for the first time in your car and praying God would protect you and help you make good choices.  He has always been there.  When you are at the end of your rope and feel you have no where to turn, please remember what I have tried so hard to teach you, God is always there. You are never alone.

It is my prayer now that you will continue on the path we have traveled together. Lean on God for everything. Seek His will. He will never leave you. I know you think I have been hard on you as you have grown up. I know I have been hard on you. You were after all my first baby.  I never demanded more from you than you could give and you have always exceeded my greatest expectations. You have grown into a responsible young woman who will someday be an awesome wife and mother. The man who wins your heart will have the greatest treasure known to mankind. Please choose well.  God has been preparing the perfect man for you. He has been grooming him all these years. Do not be in a hurry to get married and have children. In His perfect time the man of your dreams, the man worthy of you will come along.

Time passes quickly as we grow older and the small details become blurry but I remember so much of your childhood. Your birth and being up all night with a crying baby.  Birthday parties and Barbies. Dress-ups and lipstick.  School books and field trips. Cheerleading and bus stops. Make-up and perfume. Sunday school and VBS.  Salvation and baptism.  Good times and bad. We have been through them all together. We have so much more to do together.

I am so sorry for things in the past. I am sorry your father was not the Daddy you needed him to be. I believe divorcing him was the best thing I ever did. Some may think I was saving myself and in a way I was but in my mind I was saving you. Saving you from the bitterness and ugliness of a man who had lost his grip on life. Saving you from heartbreak and disappointment of watching a man who could never be what you needed him to be. Through this, you, Dakota, Madison and me came out together.  As we got used to it just being us, I  know how out of control you and your siblings must have felt when David came into our lives. I know how difficult it was to share me, to share us, with someone unknown. I know your expectations were high where he was concerned. I believe he has surpassed them all.  He may not be your biological father but he has proven himself these past eleven years to be your Dad.  He always will be your Dad.  I know you think he pushes too hard at times. In his heart he is doing his best to be the man you need to see as a role model.  He only has the very best intentions for you in his heart. I know you know this.

I also want to thank you. Thank you for being the most perfect daughter a parent could ask for. Thank you for being the example of everything a sister should be. Madison and Makenzie can only grow-up to be an incredible young woman because they have you to follow. Your footsteps are their guide. During the times when we had nothing except each other thank you for helping me. Thank you for helping out with the little kids without ever complaining. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for being my daughter. I have often played this day out in my mind. What will I say to you that will give you the confidence you need to take the step forward, away from me and into your own world that you create. This is all I have ever been able to think of… I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you. I love who you are. I love everything about you. As long as there is breath in me I will be here for you. Never hesitate to come to me. Nothing you can ever say or do will change my love for you. Perhaps we may not always agree (think Tattoos *ahem*). You have your own life to create. Regardless of your choices I will always be here, waiting, watching and loving you, just as I have every moment of your life, from your very first breath.

So today on your 18th birthday, this is my wish for you~ May you find the path that leads you to the life you want. May you find the courage and the strength to create the world you want to live in. May you find true love and happiness in one man who deserves you. May you have children who love and appreciate you.

Happy Birthday Megan!

Love, Mom :)

© 2009, Michelle. All rights reserved.