Have you ever…2nd edition!

~Gone to pull back your child’s diaper to check for poo and ended up with a brown finger? I have

~Had your 3 year old come over to you and tell you proudly, “Look Mommy! I picked a booger!”… then proceed to wipe it on you? I have

~Gone to the grocery store and heard some children screaming and acting like fools then realized they were yours?! I have

~Checked on your 3 year old who was doing #2 and found the bathroom smeared in his poo because he needed wiping but didn’t call you because “he can do it all by himself!” ? I have

~Gagged on the smell of your child’s poop? I have

~Licked your child’s ice cream cone because it was dripping everywhere even though you thought that was nasty when your parents did it and said you never would? I have

~Had your child announce that your breath stinks in a large group of people? I have

~Rolled over in the bed at night to find your child there and he’s gotten sick and you just got puked on? I have

~Wondered who all these kids running around your house were and why in the hell they call YOU Mommy? I have

~Cleaned up the living room only to find it trashed ten minutes later? I have

~Taken your child to the bathroom at the pool and then have to go yourself and have him ask you out loud over and over… “Mommy are you poopin’ cause it stinks!” ? I have

~Thanked God for nickelodeon, on demand, and whoever created Barney because they buy you some much needed me time during the day? I have

~Wondered how the hell the Duggars survive? I have

~Had your child get sunburned because you forgot to put sunscreen on them before water day at preschool? I have

~Thought you looked good in your new shirt but then realized that everyone was looking at you- not because you looked good, but because you had left the little round sticker labeled S for small and it was located right where your nipple is? I have

~Tripped then looked around to see if anyone saw you? I have

~Been told by your 13 year old while at the mall that you seriously needed to tweeze your brows because you were looking like Bert from Sesame Street? I have

~Sharted? I have

~Scanned a whole cart full of items at Walmart only to realize that you forgot your debit card at home? I have

So come on everybody- tell it! Have YOU ever?

© 2009, Michelle. All rights reserved.